Welcome

The Soapbox is an adjunct site to the Guide For Gay Men website, with additional support material on coming out, gay relationships and life transitions.  Click on the top navigation bar to go to information on specific areas — below are recent articles of interest.  Thank you for letting me be your guide!

Privacy And Public Health

No doubt you have seen the news that Charlie Sheen came out this week as HIV positive. According to the story, he has known about his HIV status for some time, but was being extorted by others who threatened to expose him, paying out millions of dollars to keep the story secret. He came forward …

Read more

Spoiled For Speed

I wrote a letter to a friend of mine the other day. Our friendship of many years evolved from what began as a correspondence, sharing letters back and forth. Our methods of contacting one another have evolved as well, from our humble beginnings starting with snail-mail handwritten letters and typed versions, leading to emails and phone …

Read more

High Heels And Two Steps

Coming out requires our exposing ourselves, conquering our fears and being our true selves. All the firsts — first flirtation, first kiss, first passion, first lust — pale in comparison to the first time dancing with another man, something which some men have yet to experience. My first time gay dancing — a rhythmic beat …

Read more

The Secret Code Of Sexuality

You are in crowd — holiday shopping, concert, football game, rally or mosh pit. How to you find the other gay guys there? For this experience, the use of electronic technology to ascertain whether or not there is a gay man hanging out and looking to grind with you anywhere in a 50 square yard vicinity …

Read more

Coming Out At Work

It’s the typical Monday morning routine. The drive into work, the shuffle into the office accompanied by fellow sluggards who traipse through the morning light in a miserable fog of resignation to the day ahead. If you listen closely, you can hear the palace guards entering the gates of the witch’s castle from Wizard of Oz. …

Read more

Why I Chose Not To Win A Tony

I was “that kid” in high school. I suspect just about every school has one — the kid with the talent that seems to stand out. When it came time to cast the school plays, he was the one that always ended up with the lead. He was the one who was expected to go into …

Read more

Born To Be Bi

When I owned the hotel in Palm Springs, we had a large collection of porn videos available in an outdoor library, tucked into an alcove behind the office.  Most of the porn was inherited from the prior owners, but over time guests shipped us their unused collections to add to the library offerings. Initially everything …

Read more

Megamorphosis

I’ve always been a bit on the fringe when it comes to tattoos.  I think some are artistic, I know some are deeply meaningful to the wearer, and some make me want to pull out my Crayolas and color. I don’t have anything personal against them or the people who have them. The truth is …

Read more

Which Hand Do You Use?

For those of you who clicked on this article hoping for an in-depth discussion of the merits of ambidextrous masturbation, that isn’t quite where I’m headed. However, play your cards right and that just might be where I end up. The “handedness” I’m referring to is the right-or-left schism and how which one is dominant …

Read more

Fried Bologna And Bible Bashing

Diversity is the cornerstone of much that has been accomplished with gay rights and equality — the notion that in our differences lies a strength. Corporations proclaim it is the pride of their workforce, a goal for which they work tirelessly. The greater our diversity, the greater the ability of an organization to flex and …

Read more